Envy.
Every time I see her having all the good things in life, I feel bile coming up to my throat. Not just any ordinary bile, but a bile that seeps through every fiber of my being, that brings out the monster in me.
I do not understand the unfairness of the world. Just because she is freaking too kind, people won't even dare to hurt her while I, get all the miseries an ordinary high schooler could ever have.
She's not even beautiful, but why the hell do people think she has a pretty face?
She's not really that intelligent, but she just studies too hard that brings her to the top!
I mean everybody adores her even the meanest and cruelest persons in the schools bows down to her feet. She acts all innocent and weak that I cannot even stand it.
I feel really plastic right now. I think I am a traitor.
Why?
She thinks we are friends and here I am writing all these complaints about her. I am such a bad girl but I cannot contain these feelings anymore. She was chosen to represent a contest I really wanted to participate. A contest that I have waited for a lifetime. I feel so dumb because I was not chosen.
Am I not good enough?
Every time I see her having all the good things in life, I feel bile coming up to my throat. Not just any ordinary bile, but a bile that seeps through every fiber of my being, that brings out the monster in me.
I do not understand the unfairness of the world. Just because she is freaking too kind, people won't even dare to hurt her while I, get all the miseries an ordinary high schooler could ever have.
She's not even beautiful, but why the hell do people think she has a pretty face?
She's not really that intelligent, but she just studies too hard that brings her to the top!
I mean everybody adores her even the meanest and cruelest persons in the schools bows down to her feet. She acts all innocent and weak that I cannot even stand it.
I feel really plastic right now. I think I am a traitor.
Why?
She thinks we are friends and here I am writing all these complaints about her. I am such a bad girl but I cannot contain these feelings anymore. She was chosen to represent a contest I really wanted to participate. A contest that I have waited for a lifetime. I feel so dumb because I was not chosen.
Am I not good enough?
Sure, she has higher grades than me in the first grading but that does not even explain why she was always chosen. I am confident that I can do better than her but why am I not given the chance to redeem myself? To show my talent to everyone?
When can I ever join without feeling any insecurity towards other people?
When will they ever choose me?
When will they ever see me?
What's worst, will they realize that I can do better than what she did?
No comments:
Post a Comment